The Romantic Language of Eye Contact

One of the most precious human senses we use daily is sight. We use the eyes to accomplish more than what you may expect – we use them to read, to avoid bumping into dangerous objects, to appreciate the colors of nature, to drive around town, and … to communicate? That's right. Even if you are not consciously aware, we use our eyes to express our true feelings when communicating with others, combining non-verbal communication with verbal communication.

In the research field, the study of eye-related nonverbal comunication is called oculesics. Eye communication spans across many research topics, including eye track studies, the recent introduction of eye writing from French researcher Jean Lorenceau, and of course the various types of eye contact that are used in different social situations, such as business meetings (formal setting), parties (informal settings), or dating (romantic settings).

One of the hot fields of research study is the connection between eye contact and flirting when it comes to pursuing romantic interests. This has been called 'eye contact flirting' and 'eye flirting' in various how-to blogs on the Web. Have you ever felt like you were mesmerized while looking into another person's eyes? Well, maybe it was the hypnotizing eye color, but more likely it was the slight movements of the eye gaze.

There are many ways to interpret eye contact, especially in the realm of romance. Here are five common situations that you might find yourself in with someone you just met, a significant other, or someone you see from across the room!

1. Peeking

This is how flirting all begins. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice someone looking your way while waiting for your morning coffee. You look up slightly to confirm your suspicions, and the gaze is broken by a quick turn of the neck. You turn the other way and feel the gaze again. Turn back and forth until you make eye contact. These brief but noticeable glances are known as peeking. In most cultures, meeting eyes is a friendly greeting and welcomes a conversation. Also, a smile won't hurt at this point if you want to get that first 'hello' with the peeker!

2. Side to Side Eye Contact

The other person takes initiative and comes over for a chat. When talking to someone, the last thing you want to do is give the other person a 'death stare' and mistakenly challenge him or her to a duel. To avoid this mishap, try shifting your gaze from one eye to the other within two-second intervals. However, because your eyes already move in quick, sharp jumps every second known as saccades, this naturally helps with the side-to-side gazing technique.

3. Triangular Gaze

When you become more comfortable with the person of interest over time, you can try the Triangular Gaze to heat things up, without being too forward – glance at the left eye, the right eye, then the lips. As you may have figured out, your gaze follows a somewhat triangular pattern that is just calling for that anticipated kiss!

4. Extended Gaze

It is by all means not a bad thing to want to look at someone with an extended gaze... that is a natural sign of showing attraction toward someone else! It is very possible that you feel sparks or that feeling of 'love at first sight' with the other person, but remember that eye contact is an invitation for conversation. If the other person rejects the offer, as observed by the rolling of the eyes or straight out walking away, it may be wise to tone down that gaze.

 

5. Dilated Pupils

As one of the most intriguing human organs, the eyes function like a camera, with the pupils acting as lens. Pupils will change in size and dilate (get bigger) for many reasons, including being in dark areas and seeing someone or something that you find visually attractive. For a surefire way to determine mutual attraction with the person of interest, take a close look at his or her eyes. The pupils will tell nothing but the truth.

As you can see, the eyes often speak louder than words, especially when it comes to romance. It helps to know what to look for and how to react when you notice one of these eye contact patterns. Even if you are in a committed relationship, speaking to your partner with your eyes is worth a peek, wouldn't you say so?