One of the most precious human senses we use daily is sight. We use the eyes to accomplish more than what you may expect – we use them to read, to avoid bumping into dangerous objects, to appreciate the colors of nature, to drive around town, and … to communicate? That's right. Even if you are not consciously aware, we use our eyes to express our true feelings when communicating with others, combining non-verbal communication with verbal communication.
In the research field, the study of
eye-related nonverbal comunication is called oculesics. Eye
communication spans across many research topics, including eye track
studies, the recent introduction of eye writing from French
researcher Jean Lorenceau, and of course the various types of eye
contact that are used in different social situations, such as
business meetings (formal setting), parties (informal settings), or
dating (romantic settings).
One of the hot fields of research study
is the connection between eye contact and flirting when it comes to
pursuing romantic interests. This has been called 'eye contact
flirting' and 'eye flirting' in various how-to blogs on the Web. Have
you ever felt like you were mesmerized while looking into another
person's eyes? Well, maybe it was the hypnotizing eye color, but more
likely it was the slight movements of the eye gaze.
There are many ways to interpret eye
contact, especially in the realm of romance. Here are five common
situations that you might find yourself in with someone you just met,
a significant other, or someone you see from across the room!
1. Peeking
This is how flirting all begins. Out of
the corner of your eye, you notice someone looking your way while
waiting for your morning coffee. You look up slightly to confirm your
suspicions, and the gaze is broken by a quick turn of the neck. You
turn the other way and feel the gaze again. Turn back and forth until
you make eye contact. These brief but noticeable glances are known as
peeking. In most cultures, meeting eyes is a friendly greeting and
welcomes a conversation. Also, a smile won't hurt at this point if
you want to get that first 'hello' with the peeker!
2. Side to Side Eye Contact
The other person takes initiative and
comes over for a chat. When talking to someone, the last thing you
want to do is give the other person a 'death stare' and mistakenly
challenge him or her to a duel. To avoid this mishap, try shifting
your gaze from one eye to the other within two-second intervals.
However, because your eyes already move in quick, sharp jumps every second
known as saccades, this naturally helps with the
side-to-side gazing technique.
3. Triangular Gaze
When you become more comfortable with
the person of interest over time, you can try the Triangular Gaze to heat
things up, without being too forward –
glance at the left eye, the right eye, then the lips. As you may have figured out, your gaze
follows a somewhat triangular pattern that is just calling for that
anticipated kiss!
4. Extended Gaze
It is by all means not a bad thing to
want to look at someone with an extended gaze... that is a natural
sign of showing attraction toward someone else! It is very possible
that you feel sparks or that feeling of 'love at first sight' with
the other person, but remember that eye contact is an invitation for
conversation. If the other person rejects the offer, as observed by the rolling of the eyes or straight out walking away, it may be wise
to tone down that gaze.
5. Dilated Pupils
As one of the most intriguing human
organs, the eyes function like a camera, with the pupils acting as
lens. Pupils will change in size and dilate (get bigger) for many
reasons, including being in dark areas and seeing someone or
something that you find visually attractive. For a surefire way to
determine mutual attraction with the person of interest, take a close
look at his or her eyes. The pupils will tell nothing but the truth.
As you can see, the eyes often speak
louder than words, especially when it comes to romance. It helps to
know what to look for and how to react when you notice one of these
eye contact patterns. Even if you are in a committed relationship,
speaking to your partner with your eyes is worth a peek, wouldn't you
say so?
Posts
